Friday, July 25, 2008

Balls, Woods, and Tee Bags

Yes I am talking about golf. A few days ago I want golfing for the second time in my life. It wasn't pretty... unless the high score wins. There were three of us guys, plus two golf carts, and about 100 balls.

Story about the balls. I live close to the driving range of this golf course. So a buddy and I went ball hunting in the wooded area beside the driving range. It was getting close to dark so we figured that it would be hard to see us in the woods. About an hour later I had to call my wife to bail me out of jail for trespassing and...

Just kidding. We didn't get caught. We did wait until it got a bit darker and just walked across the range picking up balls. We collected 119 balls total. Needless to say, we gave some of them back when we hit them into the woods or into the water traps on the course. It was a blast. I shot 32 over par. Yes, yes I know that is terrible, but we had a good time and were back before noon. Next time I think the guys and I will play 18 holes and I will go for an even 50 over.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Sum sum summer time!

Man this past month has flown by. I can honestly say that I haven't thought about blogging at all until now. I have been spending my time at work and with my family so I have been a bit busy. Sorry to those of you who have been missing my cheeky wit. (Laughs a little)

So to catch everyone up to speed... since beginning my new job I have had a few frustrations mainly in the training area. I am some what experienced at what I do so being placed in a newbie training program was kind of a slap in the face. Apparently I voiced my opinion to people, unbeknownst to me, and received the title of "Cocky". So now I am sticking my big foot in my mouth to keep it shut. I have decided to just show my coworkers that I can put my money where my mouth is. So far I have been tole that I am far exceeding expectations.

I am not sure whether to take that as a compliment or to take it as they didn't expect very much out of me in the first place. I'll take it as a compliment. I think it is better that way.

We'll see how this all plays out. Besides, who can be angry with a guy in a Robin Egg blue shirt, right?

Friday, June 13, 2008

Hawaiian Shirt Friday U R doin it wrong

The Hawaiian Shirt thing was a bust today. No body and I mean NO BODY wore their shirts except for me. What a bunch of losers. That just tells me that there is no one with a sense of humor in the place.

On the other hand... today is Friday and there is a nice weekend to look forward to.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Hawaiian Shirt Friday

Since tomorrow is Friday, and I am working with new people, I thought that I would throw out the idea of Hawaiian Shirt Friday. It is the only day of the week where Hawaiian shirts are allowed to be worn by all the employees. I had to run it by my boss first because in my profession we must maintain certain outward appearance's. We have to wear khaki's and a button up shirt or better. So the official word that I got was that if it was a button up with a collar then it would be OK.

When a new group of people first meet you everyone forms the dreaded "First Impression". So I went for gold with my apparel announcement. I will be wearing a Hawaiian Shirt tomorrow and I encourage anyone that can to do the same. In fact... every Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Friday. I may just post a picture of me in my shirt tomorrow. I will report back on how many people actually show up in Hawaiian Shirts tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Just sittin' there

Sitting in a classroom with no windows is kind of like a clogged toilet... I can't remember how those two fit together but I am going to share with you anyway.

Today I sat in a classroom with no windows, stacked desks, a ping pong table complete with paddles and balls, and a home work out rack with weights. I have to sit there listening to some guy talk about stuff I already am very familiar with and try to stay awake.

Oh yeah! Now I remember.

The best way for me to stay awake is to make myself as uncomfortable as possible. So during the 8.5 hours that I am there I refrain from using the "facilities" (aka. toilet, john, bathroom, etc.). This, in turn, makes the day go slower but the building pressure keeps me awake. If I did fall asleep I would probably wee (not wheeeee) all over myself, or do the other unimaginable. This also makes for an interesting drive home.

Let me tell you... it is NOT SAFE to do the pee pee dance while driving. Trust me!

So when I get home I must promptly head to the lavatory. This leads me to my second story.

A few days ago, after returning from work, I headed to the "head" only to find the toilet was filled up to the rim with water and little white floaters. When I asked about the toilet's state I was informed that Diamond had used too much toilet paper and clogged it. Despite my finest efforts with a plunger I couldn't get it unclogged.

So in a weird way... sitting in a classroom with no windows is like a clogged toilet. In both situations you just want to fall asleep and hope when you wake up you are dry and the situation is over.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Dirt between my pretty pretty toes

I spent the majority of the time out doors today with my gems. I may have been wearing shoes for about 10 minutes of the time. The grass was soft and it was just too inviting. The bad part is looking down and seeing a sort of gangrene look to your feet. I know it is just dirt and it will wash off but in a way I don't want it to. Dirty feet are like gnarled hands. You know that someone has been working hard to look like that. I was playing hard with my kids. There is a certain respect factor that goes along with that.

"Hey look at that guys feet"

"I know dude... they're filthy"

"Dude... move over and let him through. Show some respect for the hard working dirty feet guy"

It is almost like a Bud Light commercial.
"Real men of genius. Today we salute you... Mr. Filthy Feet Guy. You demand respect from those Air Jordan's, Sketchers, Adidas, and Timberland boot wearing guys."

Something like that.

I had a great time with Diamond and Peridot. We all had dirty feet and enjoyed every minute of making sure they got that way.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Electric Powder Blue

A few days ago at the store my wife says that I should get some new Polo's for work. I am thinking that it would be cool to have some new stuff to keep me looking "Fresh". I was also thinking that there was something behind all of the "you need new clothes" stuff. Typically when I get new stuff she does too. Which is alright because I like buying things for my wife. It makes her happy.

We just so happen to come across a polo shirt display that had a rainbow of colors. Immediately my wife says "Oh! You need one of these", and picks up a bright Caribbean blue polo.

Me: "Uh... you think I would look good in that?"
Wife: "Yes" (Holds it up to match it to my eyes) "Yes!"
Me: "... Oh Kay"

It this point I am not going to argue. If I didn't have my wife then I would match at all on any given day and i would be wearing things that didn't look good on me. After looking through several more shirts I said. I have no shorts for this summer and started looking around for the clearance rack of shorts. I found the khaki shorts in the middle of the men's section. I also saw a bunch of plaid shorts on the rack next to them. One pair caught my attention and I thought that I could match them with the Baby Powder Electric Caribbean Robin's Egg Blue shirt. Once again my wife came to my rescue. I held out a pair and she told me that they didn't match. I thought they were close enough but like I said earlier. I can't dress myself.

She asked me if I wanted a pair of plaid shorts. I told her that I was thinking of matching a pair with the shirt for summer functions and just to be goofy. We then saw another rack that had the shorts. I think that the shorts and the shirt were meant to go together because the matched perfectly... at least that was what I was told. So I now have a matching pair of Bright Electric Baby Powder Robin's Egg Caribbean Sky Swimming Pool Blue plaid shorts with matching shirt.